I feel sometimes like I have two families- one that involves Tristan and one that doesn't and it's not purposeful.
Last Sunday Peter and I were enjoying a dry Zinfandel and playing rummy (yes, as I type this we sound old and need to get out of the house more without children) at the table in our study, Dylan, Liam, our two dogs, and three cats lounging around us. The kids were playing Legos at our feet climbing over the various animals that love to be close to their pack when I realized one our members was missing.
I walked upstairs to find Tristan sprawled across the futon in the playroom singing the tune to Stars Wars while watching Clone Wars and building a spaceship. I turned around and retreated downstairs, 'let him be, he spent the whole day with us', I thought.
See it is a balancing act how much time can Tristan spend without human contact, I don't know, probably days. So, we have to invite Tristan to partcipate in his own family, but then we need to let him be alone. Even though I feel he misses a piece of our family, I have to respect Tristan's limits and keep pushing ever so gently to let us in more and more.
I still is sometimes difficult to accomplish...